So Popeye is coming HOME today!!!!!
Yippee! I have officially made it to the end of BOST (Basic Operational Sea Trials) without killing the children or having a nervous breakdown! Go me *proud face*!
I attribute my success in Forces Spouse Parenting to a winning combo of rosé spritzers after the kids bedtime, going out to the park a LOT and lowering my housekeeping standards to just above “slovenly”.
Popeye phoned last night and because of crap signal we of course got cut off mid conversation (standard).
I didn’t get to do my usual “Some things are different and some things are the same” potentially slightly patronising debrief.
Let me elaborate, Popeye, and I suspect many other sailors and service persons out there, find it quite difficult to understand that time has passed here at home.
Some things have (duhn duhn duuuhn!) changed. The house he left does not look exactly the same as when he left. I have (shockingly) kept calm and carried on. Without him.
During the couple of months of BOST par examplé I have-
- Moved the basket where we keep the towels and swapped it with the laundry bin. (Duhn duhn duuuuhn!)
- Moved the microwave to under the boiler on the other side of the kitchen. (Omfg I’m a monster)
- Put black out curtains up in sweet peas room because I was fed of of waiting for him to do it. (Sweet Jesus the humanity!)
- In a mad fit of “the good life meet gardeners world” weirdness I dug and planted a veg garden with tomato, courgette and runner beans. (Side note: there is an 80% chance they will all die).
- Bought two plants to put next to the front door so we look posher than we are. (They are from lidl. Fucking love lidl and its mystery aisle. )
So stuff has moved around. And there is new stuff in our house.
Popeye does not like this. I can just tell he feels uncomfortable or a bit miffed when he steps in the house and it’s not a photocopy of how it was when he left us.
I swear he thinks the second he departs on that bloody tin can time freezes here.
Even though I do tell him on the phone that I’ve bought X, Y, Z or I’ve put up a picture or whatnot; he doesn’t really ever seem to register that it has actually happened. What I am telling you on the phone is my real life. Like actually real.
Im not making it up. I’m not trying to dupe him. I’m not trying to make him feel out of place or confused in his own home.
I’m running a household. I’m doing exactly what I would have done had he been here.
I won’t put my life on hold, or wait for him to be home in order to get stuff sorted out in Maison de Oyl.
So I usually have a special “some things are different and some are the same chat”.
Except I couldn’t this time because we got cut off after talking about the girls.
I guess that’s another different thing. He left me as a blubbering, exhausted, desperate for help mother of two under two asking herself “how am I going to do this with no help?!”
Instead he will come back to find me a coping, exhausted mother of two under two. Still in need of help but not in that panic zone. Still in love with my Popeye, still hating the navy.
Because I’ve bloody done it. And it feels amazing. Amazingly different. And amazingly the same.
P.s if you like reading my blog, or if your wife/partner keeps sending you links to my posts and find yourself lol-ing when reading them onboard how about voting for me in the MAD blog awards? I’m a finalist in the best lifestyle blog category and it would mean SO much to win it. I’m the only forces person in the whole awards (guilt trip guilt trip). It takes 2 mins. Click right here and vote for ME! Ta muchly X