I sit here. In an empty pub. After an argument with my husband.
Listening to kings of Leon’s- wait for me.
So far so normal. Also a tad ironic thanks to the playlist. All seems well. I look like a civvy. In a civvy relationship. I look normal.
But it’s far from normal. It’s just not.
I’ve walked out of the house tonight. Valentine’s Day night.
Yeah. So kind of a big deal. I guess. I mean I’ve never put too much stock in V day. But to be honest that’s because we never ever seem to spend them together.
And as I sit here I have realised something.
Something a little bit sexy.
For ALL of us. Not just me.
It’s scary. I’ve warned you. It’s scary because it makes your realise the strength we have.
The POWER we have.
(Cut to the chase drunk Olive I hear you cry!)
WE CAN DO THIS WITHOUT THEM!
(See I told you it was empowering and sexy).
We can cope without them. Let’s be honest. Having our partners home is an added bonus to our lives.
We can drop them if they aren’t up to scratch.
We can do the 24/7 childcare.
We can go to work.
We can run a house.
We can study.
We can socialise.
We can LIVE.
We can literally live without them.
Knowing this is bloody empowering. It’s liberating. And it should make you look at your partner and consider them-
Ask yourself this-
Do they respect me?
Do they like my friends?
Do they build me up or knock me down?
Do they celebrate my achievements?
Do they recognise my sacrifice because of their job?
Will they sacrifice because of my job?
Will they see my pursuits as equal value to their own?
Will they understand my insecurities about their job?
Will they address my insecurities in a calm and rational manner?
Do they feel that special considerations should be made because of their behaviour on deployment?
If they can’t add to your life then… well, what are they really doing there?
You know, you fucking know you can do this. You’ve done it. I’ve done it. We’ve done it. We can all keep doing it.
If we need to. If they aren’t good enough. We can call time on the relationship. In full confidence and knowledge that we can cope with it.