You wait weeks, months sometimes for them to come home.
You swap emails and have long (but never long enough) phone calls musing about what you will do when you are reunited.
He says things like “I miss you so much, I can’t wait to see you, to hold you, to kiss you.”
Why is it then that after about five flipping seconds back at home out comes the Xbox or PlayStation from the BBKB and you don’t see beloved Popeye again for hours.
Once more you are going to bed by yourself. Ears ringing with empty promises of “I’ll be up in a minute babe, just let me finish this level/check out this vault/this round”.
You know it’s not true and that they will creep up to bed at 4am and fall asleep with their mouth wide open and snore all night until a well aimed elbow stops them.
But still, optimistically, you peck them on the cheek and climb the stairs to your cold bed.
It’s either that they are lying or that they have forgotten how much they missed you.
Or they literally lose all sense of time and place as soon that bloody loading screen lights up.
To be honest it takes the piss a bit.
I’m declaring we all do the same and start playing Spyro the Dragon or The Sims with slack jaws, one hand down our pants and a packet of share size crisps open on the coffee table.
All. Night. Long.
Who’s with me?!?!